Of love and teeth

Journal highlights:

--Yesterday Dangerboy decided he wanted to make milkshakes after school, so I let him do it himself, with minimal help from me. He had a recipe he’d found in a book. Cookie-Nut, who was in the bathtub, could hear the blender whirring and asked me what the sound was. I said DB was making milkshakes. She said, “By himself?!?” I nodded. “That’s great! He’s learning!” she said maternally. I felt the same way. I love it when my kids are independent. I need to be better about teaching them how to be.

--DB doesn’t say cute little-kid stuff quite as much as he used to, but he’s still as cute as can be. His big blue eyes still make my heart skip a beat, and his dimples just make me happy.

But, we found out he needs to have his two front teeth removed because the permanent teeth underneath aren’t growing right (they’re growing straight out!), and I’m so sad about it. He doesn’t ever get to have wiggly teeth, and no prep for PDaniel and I either…just, suddenly we have a toothless first grader. No more baby-teeth smiles. It really breaks my heart. And I feel so bad for him that he has to go through it. Having teeth pulled is traumatic.

He did amazingly well at the extraction, considering how scared he was. He was very brave, didn’t struggle much, panicked only a little, and cried not at all. It was better than last time in that he didn’t feel much pain—none at all when the teeth were pulled out, actually.

Before the appointment, PDan gave him a blessing, which he wasn’t sure he wanted at first, but I think maybe it helped. (The kid has an aversion to praying which I’m not really sure what to do about.) I took a really cute last picture of him with his baby teeth, too…then CN and I promptly dropped the camera on the kitchen floor (those tiles break anything they touch, they’re so unforgiving) and broke it. There goes another $300…sigh. I think I can salvage the picture though.

DB got to pick the ice cream and movie that night. He chose Superbowl Swirl (whatever that is) and Cars 2. And he got $10 from the tooth fairy (she splurges for extractions).

--Today was Valentine’s Day. We basically ate junk food all day. I got donuts for breakfast, then was brunch. I put a brownie (heart-shaped) in DB’s lunch, and the kids ate lots of valentine’s candy from friends. We had heart-shaped Papa Murphy’s pizza for dinner, with fruit and Martinelli’s, and each of the kids got a little stuffed animal and a little box of candy from us. PDaniel and I aren’t doing much…trying to save money for New York. Hope we can scrape some together so we don’t have to starve while we’re there.

One night, at bedtime (I love those times!), we were talking about how PDan and I met and dated, and I told him that I hoped someday he’d find a nice girl to marry. (He’s considered it…he gave Tiger Lily a ring when he was four, expressed desire to marry a sweetheart named Riley in preschool, and his latest crush is a little freckle-nosed blonde in kindergarten—he saved the valentine she gave him in a place of honor). Anyway, his comment this time was, “What happens is my birthday and my wedding are on the same day? Then I’ll have two cakes!” He’s thinking ahead.

Cookie-Nut has crushes of her own. Hers is a little guy named C. in her preschool class. The other day we were eating snacks, and she said, “I love C. He’s my boyfriend. I love to kiss him. I’m missing him so much” (pout). Where does she get this stuff? She doesn’t even really watch princess movies.

More cutenesses:

CN is getting good at rhyming. I tried to kiss her cheek, and missed, so I sang “Air-kiss!” And she sang back, “Pear-piss!”

CN’s word of the day was “Moab.” It was in a scripture story I read to her last night, and she just kept repeating the word at random times throughout the day. She just liked the sound of it, but I was surprised she remembered.

I asked her if she wanted a ponytail this morning, and she said she wanted “frogtails,” because tadpoles have them before they turn into frogs. So I have her two low ponytails, and she was satisfied, though she said she really would have liked them more if they were green.

Her latest volcab is “never mind” and “usually”, like when she announced at dinner tonight, “Usually, baby cows drink milk.” It’s pretty cute to hear her talk like a grown-up.

I was strapping her into her carseat tonight, and I saw her looking at my earrings. “Do you like my earrings?” I said. “Yes, she said, “and I like your brown hair and your eyeballs, and your pretty lips!” It warmed my heart.

CN: “Mom, I think I’m ruined.” (I forget the context…maybe she had on ouchie or a stain on her clothes?)

CN was playing in the car by herself for a while. When I went to check on her, the car didn’t smell the same as it had. “Cookie-Nut,” I said, “Do you have to go potty? It’s kind of stinky in here.”

“It wasn’t me, Mom,” she said. “A stinkbug came in here and did it.” (She’s been blaming lots of things on fictional creatures lately).

CN often remarks that someone or other (usually her) is “faster than a bullfrog.” She’s shown off for complete strangers by shouting, “Look at me! I’m faster than a bullfrog!” as she takes off running.

CN: “Mom, what are we having for dinner?

Me: “Swedish pancakes.”

CN: “Dangerboy! We’re having selfish pancakes for dinner!”

DB’s starting to ask fun metaphysical/religious questions. The other night at bedtime I overheard him and PDaniel talking about the origins of the human race, and another night they were talking about heaven. PDan was trying to explain the three degrees of glory, and DB was trying to understand. Finally, it came down to what he really wanted to know. “But, Dad,” he said, “Where do people go who are mean to their sister?”

(He went on to explain that he knows it’s wrong, but sometimes, he just can’t help it!)

Another day, while I was making dinner, he commented, “I think if someone smokes in church, they’ll go to jail and die.” (We had a talk about that one too.)

Don't spice me up!

Well, it's that time of year: the sick time. We don't get sick often, but this time of year it seems like it's always one thing after another. I was sick last week with a bad-cold-turned-infection, and PDaniel has it this week. Meanwhile, Dangerboy woke up with croup Wednesday night and we had to take him the the ER for a steroid treatment. It wasn't too bad; we'd have taken him to urgent care, but nowhere else is open at midnight. The doctor said he should stay home from school for a couple of days, but he was feeling fine, so I was stuck with bored kids for a few days. Now Cookie-Nut has a bad cough and I'm keeping her home. And getting a little stir-crazy and tired of entertaining children!

I must admit, though, they both stayed home from church yesterday and played well together all day long. That was a treat. I love it when that happens, especially because CN worships DB so much, and he doesn't often, at this point in his life, give her the time of day. I hope it changes.

Cutenesses:

Cookie-Nut at dinner, telling what she did outside in the snow. She’s been saying her “L’s” correctly more and more lately, which makes me treasure sentences like this all the more: “We made a swide. Then we got on our sweds and swid down!!”

One night I made bok choy/eggplant/tofu stir fry with hoisin sauce and a little red pepper. It wasn’t much of a success; neither the eggplant nor the tofu sucked up much flavor, though the bok choy was OK. I was trying to shovel one last bite into Cookie-Nut’s mouth; she’d tried it and liked it, but she was done by this point and was avoiding the fork, begging for raisin bran instead. Finally she ducked under the counter. “No!!” She yelled frantically. “It might spice me up!!”

CN is so funny. She can create worlds and stories with whatever objects are at hand. In the last 24 hours, she’s created elaborate scenarios using, each on a separate occasion, the following: a hymnbook, a couple of shoelaces, spoons, a puzzle, half an orange and a paint set, a zipper, the pull string on the blinds, a partially-eaten banana. In every case, if her attention needs to be redirected (to brushing her teeth or eating her dinner, for instance), it’s very difficult to pull her out of her world, but I love that her imagination is so vibrant.

"Life is Hard."

Oh, yes, it snowed the other day and the kids finally got to use their sleds, which Grandma got them, and which they didn’t know they owned. DB said, “I’m so happy, I don’t know what to say!” And promptly wrote a thank-you note. They spent much of the morning sliding down the hill in our yard with their friends.

CN had a hard time in Primary today. It’s a hard transition for a three-year-old. For some it’s harder than for others! She kept rolling around on the floor and yelling with the music director didn’t pick her to help lead the music. Or when she WAS chosen, yelling because she didn’t want to do what the director wanted her to.

DangerBoy’s parent-teacher conference was this week. He is doing well, at least well enough for his teacher. She says he is reading above grade level, that he is a peacemaker and a good friend, and that his handwriting needs work. That’s our boy!

We took poor DB to the dentist Tuesday to get his tooth inspected. He'd been running a fever over the long weekend and complaining about a tooth. I wanted to make sure they weren't related. But it turns out it was infected and he had to have it pulled right then and there! Poor kid. It was a molar too, and a new one won’t grow in for a few years. Not only that, but everyone in the office was shaking their heads at his x-rays. Apparently, he’s going to need plenty of orthodontic work. The nurse actually said it looks like his two front teeth are going to come in growing straight out! Heaven forbid. My beautiful little boy.

He was pretty brave, though he had to have some laughing gas after the last shot. He didn’t cry until then. And then he didn’t get completely numb (the nurse said it’s hard when there’s an infection, though I’m not sure I believe her), so he felt it coming out, at least somewhat. He didn’t know what they were doing, only that it hurt, so I think he was shocked when they showed it to him at the end. Traumatic thing for a kid. He wept most of the way home, though he mostly stopped in Walmart, where we stopped to buy him a toy.

Yesterday was my first student recital here at BYU, I played for Briana, a grad student in oboe. The music was hard, so I was proud of my/our efforts and invited family. Mom and Dad came down, Shaun and John Bonner showed up, and we got a sitter so Peter could go. I was nervous about how my arm would do, since it’s been giving me some nerve trouble. I was also worried about Performance anxiety, which has reared its ugly head in the past. But neither was problematic, and while the performance wasn’t perfect, I was honestly pleased with it.

Cutenesses:

On Friday this week, DB and CN was sitting at the breakfast table. CN was eating a leftover cheeseburger for breakfast, and DB had his forehead on the table and was moaning tiredly that he didn’t know what he wanted for breakfast. CN looked up from her hamburger at him and said sagely, “Life is hard.”

Last night when I was putting her to bed, she said, “I like your earrings. I like your hair. You’re so cute! And I love my room, and I love my whole world! Jesus gave me all these things!”

Cookie-Nut (putting on a not-new pink shirt): “It’s a new shirt! The shirt fairy brought be a new shirt!” (What’s the shirt fairy’s name?) “Her name is Porch. Sometimes I don’t like her. But, she has yellow hair.”

First of 2012!

We went to AZ for Christmas. It was mostly low-key…watched a lot of movies and Dangerboy played lots of video games. Slept in, etc. PDaniel's family is sweet and laid-back. And generous. We went on a couple of family outings…one to an art museum in Tempe and a gingerbread Whoville, and one to an ostrich farm and Picacho State Park, then out for Mexican food. The kids (especially Cookie-Nut) loved the farm. CN was scared of the ostriches, but she loved feeding the greedy goats and deer. One little donkey became her special friend. There was also a lorikeet aviary where the birds slurped up nectar from little cups we held for them and they perched all over us. DB’s favorite part was a hand-cranked conveyer belt he used to ship food pellets to a pen of goats in a big cherry-picker-type thing. He stayed there for a long time.

The other day we went with the cousins to see the Muppet movie again, which we saw over Thankgiving. It’s pretty funny, and the kids enjoyed seeing it again. The songs are my favorite part…they’re by Brett from Flight of the Conchords, the one and awesomely only parody musical sitcom. Both Muppet movie and Flight of the Conchords (disclaimer--the latter is a solid PG-13) I highly recommend.

It snowed this morning. I went to go pick up our Bountiful Basket (-o-produce) and what should I see but K shoveling the snow off our front stairs. It warmed my heart. (K’s our neighbor kid…one of DB’s older friends. Has a reputation for mischief, but really a good kid.)

Kid quotables:

DB (refusing to get a haircut): “I want to have a beard and be hairy like Uncle L.” (Uncle L has long Jesus-like hair and a beard).

CN, after watching the movie preview for “Tintin”: “That’s a great boy because he has to do a really brave job!”

CN: “But Jesus doesn’t love Santa Claus.” Why not? “Because Christmas is Jesus’s birthday, and he wanted presents.” But did Santa bring Jesus presents? “Yes!” So I’m confused, but somehow the whole birthday/present/Christmas/Santa relationship has her confused too, I think.

We were in the car, talking about a trip to the zoo that she doesn’t remember:

CN: “So you lift me up and I see the elephants?”

Me: “Yes.”

CN: “But I can’t see my eyes.”

Me: “That’s right, we can’t see our eyes, except in the mirror.”

CN: “But I can see your eyes! And I can see all the things that I can see! Anyways, I don’t like the sun.”

Me: “Why don’t you like the sun?”

Clara: “’Cause it’s sunning in my eyes!”

Us, Part One

I met Peter at band camp in August of 1994. We had just moved to Rexburg…we’d come early so I could be there in time to go; it was a requirement of the marching band. The first time I saw him, he and Ryan N. were walking to the practice field, and Ryan was holding drumsticks. They looked approachable, so I asked if they were drummers. Nope! Trumpet players, unfortunately for me (I was in the percussion section, playing mallets on the sideline). I ate lunch with a group of kids that included PDaniel and Wendy A. that day, and PDan told this joke: “What did one blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Hey, we’re not the only ones—there are lots of us!” And Wendy thought it was hilarious and I didn’t get it at all. It was just part of “Rexburg humor,” which didn’t make any sense, and which I didn’t really understand until later. What would I have thought if someone had whispered in my ear, “there’s the boy you’ll marry”?

PDan remembers that he saw me for the first time standing on the curb being dropped off for band camp. He remembers what I was wearing: white shorts (too short for Rexburg, a fact I was oblivious to), and the James Madison T-shirt Mat Dragoo had sent me from college before his accident. PDan remembers what I was wearing on almost every occasion. I sure picked a good guy, though he puts me to shame—I don’t remember what he was wearing even this morning! Wait, no, I do. But I don't always!

Journal Entries

A couple of months ago we lost C-Nut’s “Baby.” It’s a little pink plush doll with a rattle inside that Grandma W. gave her, and which she’s loved and slept with since she was an infant. I was surprised how much I missed Baby; PDaniel too. I had a distinct feeling of loss those days, almost as if we’d lost CN’s twin, or at least as if some part of CN had been lost forever. A cloud descended over the household, and we were all a little depressed. I’ve never mourned another inanimate object more than I mourned baby for those few days, as we searched the house and the car (the only places Baby is allowed to go) over and over.

CN’s face shone like a light when we found Baby. I was talking to PDan in the kids’ room when I noticed the underwear-and-sock hanging bag in DB’s closet had fallen down. I reached down to pick it up and reattach it to the pole, when I heard something rattle. Could it be?? It was! Stuffed in with DB’s socks was Baby! I vaguely remembered putting socks away a couple of days ago—I must have accidentally put Baby away too. Hallelujah! A weight lifted from all of us and all was right with the world again.

...

Last night I had a dream that I was riding to a music recital. On the back of a cow. Down a road choked with humongously overgrown tree roots.

...

PDan and I have been reading the first Harry Potter book to DB and he LOVES it. So much more than I thought he would. He knows all the characters, keeps track of their names. It’s so fun to share this with him--PDan and I are having a great time doing all the accents and voices as we read, or trying to—and I’m proud of the fact that he has an attention span long enough to sit through whole chapters at a time. I’m glad his imagination is in such good working order. I see kids in his class that are excellent readers, have great handwriting, play the cello…but I am so proud that my child has a love for stories. Those other things are good too, but I’d rather this, if I had to choose.

...

Saturday afternoon, I lost C-Nut. DB and C-Nut had both had a boring day and were begging to go outside, so we finally tried to go on a walk. But they were being so awful—complaining about the direction we were going, the lack of food, everything. At first I was trying to be accommodating but finally gave up and said we were going home. We’d barely made it around the corner of our apartment! DB planted himself on the sidewalk and said he wasn’t going anywhere, while C-Nut was dying to go home. So I looked CN in the eye (she was sitting in her stroller) and told her not to move, while I went to get DB, who was maybe 10 yards away. CN nodded seriously. But when I turned around, the stroller was empty.

I wasn’t too worried initially, because I figured she’d just gone home. But I looked there, and she hadn’t. Then I looked around some more…no CN. I’d thought Peter had gone to priesthood, but he’d felt like he should stay home and help me with the kids, so he came out when he heard me calling for her and started looking. Esther came out of her apartment too. I wasn’t sure if I should start running somewhere to look, or if I should just look behind bushes and stuff; maybe she was hiding. I felt kind of paralyzed, so I just stayed where I was and kept calling her name. Minutes passed…no CN. Peter said later that at that point he said a desperate prayer, and felt that it would be all right, but started running down the hill. On the way down, he met our friend Madelyn, coming up to the playground with her kids. She was holding CN’s hand. CN had run all the way down the sidewalk, across the parking lot, down the “bunny hill,” and across the street, when Madelyn had found her and brought her back up. Thank goodness. PDaniel and I each made CN cry, getting her in trouble. CN felt terrible. Good…I hope she never runs away again. PDan and I were so distraught we were in no mood to cook dinner and went to In-N-Out for drive-thru burgers. (I hope CN doesn’t think it was some kind of reward).

Conversations with Cookie-Nut

PDan to C-Nut: You are beautiful.

C-Nut to PDan: YOU are beautiful! And cwazy.

...

(while walking outside—she looks up.) “The birds don’t like me.”

me: “The birds don’t like me?”

her: “ME.”

me: “Oh, the birds don’t like you? Why not?”

her: “Because I don’t like them too.” (pout)

...

(in the car—she looks out the window)

her: “They look like giant broccoli!”

me: “What do?”

her: “The trees! With cheese on them!”

me: “You have a poet’s mind, Cookie-Nut.”

her: “Yeah!”

...

(getting out of the car)

her (angry and annoyed): “They’re waving at me.” (pout)

me: “Who?”

her (still mad): “The trees!” (she sticks out her tongue and raspberries in their direction.) (yells defiantly at them) “I’m going home!” (pout)

Journal Excerpts

The other night I went to a RS conference at which Claudia Bushman spoke. She really motivated me to keep some sort of journal! Someday I may not remember anything, and it would be nice to be reminded what happened in my life. She focused on recording the truth, no matter how un-pretty. But I want to record plenty of the pretty things too. So, here are some excerpts from the journal I've kept over the last week or two.

...

One thing Claudia Bushman said in her talk last week was something like, “Journaling is a zero-level activity. No matter what you do, it’s better than nothing.” I got to thinking, I worry about not being good enough at music, or writing, or mothering…but maybe all those things are zero-level activities too. Anything I do, any effort I make, is better than nothing; it puts something positive and creative into the world that wasn’t there before. So why not make the effort? Even mothering, which is the hardest…I may not decide to have tons of children, because I don’t think I’d be good at it, but I can do my best with the two I’ve got, right? Of course right.

...

Today we went to a Faded Paper Figures concert at a club called The Mint in LA. We took the kids…it was a short afternoon concert, very family-friendly. The music was a little loud for the kids (Cookie-Nut wouldn’t wear her earplugs), but we all had a blast! The kids danced with their friends the Romney boys and PDaniel and I sang along. It helped that we all knew the music from listening to both albums in the car. The band members (whom I can take credit for introducing to each other) are our friends John Williams and Kael and Heather Alden, who used to be our ward. And now I can actually say that we went to a smoky little club in LA. I admit the whole atmosphere appeals to me. Much better than the overcrowded Dave Matthews Band concert Pete and I went to in AZ. Much more “atmosphere.”

...

PDaniel and I tried for a while to stop watching TV at night so we could do more productive things, but apparently it’s how we reconnect. When we stopped we got kind of depressed.

...

I had a much-needed “day off” yesterday. Now that C-Nut doesn’t take naps any more (and hasn’t for months and months) I really have no alone time. I really need it—it definitely helps me be more sociable when I AM around people. It’s funny—I didn’t want to be an English major because I missed people too much and hated being alone all the time, reading and writing. Piano accompanying was a nice balance, because I had alone time to practice, but the rest of the work was with other people. And music departments can be really nice, supportive communities (like ASU was) so that was great too. Now I am constantly around people—mostly my family, mostly kids—and ache for time alone. And my poor husband is alone all day and aches for together time! So in order for me to be happier together…I need to get away sometimes.

...

So, while PDan took Dangerboy and C-Nut to a primary activity and (when they got home), played with non-Newtonian fluids, I worked on my stories; exercised; tried a new Ramen restaurant for lunch and finished the book Michael K; hit a sale at JCPenney and got a new Easter Dress for Clara (black with white flowers and green trim) and some new sneakers for Caleb. Then we had a nice family evening, ate biscuits and gravy and smoothies, watched some Scooby-Doo; and after the kids went to bed, we watched the Firefly movie Serenity. A good day.

Pictures

This is Peter--I'm just adding a bunch of pictures for grandmas and pakas. Christi will probably update this with more details later, but one note: the few pictures of dangerboy in the suit are from when he was asked to be ring bearer at our friend's wedding. It was a long day, but he loved it and was very proud of his role in the ceremony.