"Heavenly Father, thank you for this day. Please bless Cookie-Nut, and that she'll be nice to everybody, and that she'll get big like me. And that she'll not eat chalk. Name of Jesus Christ, amen."
(Cookie-Nut finds it hard to abstain from sidewalk chalk, that gritty goodness.)
"Mom, why our house is square?"
"Well, there are other houses on top of ours, right? So they need to stack, like blocks. If it was round, would it stack? Can balls stack?"
"No. But maybe if the balls were flat?"
"But if they were flat, would they be balls anymore?"
"No. They'd be frisbees. And then if we cut the frisbees, they'd be cookies!"
Act I: So, sometimes PDaniel makes some colorful exclamations when Dangerboy runs into him at full speed. If you're a dad of young children, or you're close to one, you know what I mean. I think hearing these, coupled with waaaay too much SpongeBob, have resulted in what I've been hearing lately, when Cookie-Nut runs into DB:
"Mom, she hit me in the barnacles!!!"
When asked where his barnacles are, it's different every time.
Act II: DB:Ahhh! (giggling) Don't tickle me in the neboes!
Me: What?? Where are your neboes?
DB: (points to his armpits)
Me: 'Neboes?!' Where in the world did you get 'neboes'?
DB: (Proud that he knows the answer to this no-brainier) "From Jesus!"
Act III: (Dangerboy's watermelon slides off his plate and onto the floor).
Me: Hey! You need to be careful when you're carrying watermelon. We don't want it on the carpet!
DB: But mom! It just jumped out!
Me: The watermelon jumped? I don't think so. Does watermelon jump?
DB: Sometimes it jumps.
Me:Hmmm. I don't think so.
(Pause. Thinking).
DB: Mom, I think I'm right. Watermelon jumps sometimes.
So I haven't borne my testimony in, well, years. But usually on fast Sunday I think about what I would say were I feeling compelled to get up there. And today I felt as though I could share an experience--so I shared one from lat weekend: when Dangerboy screamed, I wanted to whack him, said a prayer, and received a little bit of strength to forbear and forgive.
But I was alone with Dangerboy in sacrament meeting as PDaniel was out with Cookie-Nut in the hall. So I asked DB if he wanted to talk in the microphone. No hesitation: "Yes."
We were in the back row, almost to the stage in the cultural hall. We walked all the way up, hand in hand, and I helped him up to the mike. Yes, I told him what to say (which I've always been ambivalent about), but I only said things that I knew he was aware of--he just needed to be reminded to say them. And despite the fact that he was talking in front of hundreds of people, he wasn't scared at all, and said just what I told him to, no blowing in the mike or anything. I was proud of him, and he was very proud of himself and gave me lots of kisses.
Here was his testimony:
"I'd like to bear my testimony." (That part was a little unintelligible).
"I love my family."
"I love my Grandmas and Pakas." (I'd said Grandpas, so it tripped him up just a little.)
"I like to say my prayers." (This is finally usually true.)
...Ahh, if only it were a Revue... So I've been looking for a new bathing suit. It's been about ten years since I had a new one, and both fashion and my body are a leeeeetle bit different than they were, say, when I was nineteen. I own two bathing suits--one is a generic black ribbed number I think I got at Walmart; the other one has buttons. And is plaid. I need say no more.
I don't really have the time to go slogging through malls looking for the ideal suit, particularly under florescent lighting (am I right?) so I started looking online. And it became a bit of an obsession.
I'm now familiar with practically all the websites that sell "modest" swimsuits, but I discovered (again) that there are levels of modesty. Most of the the "Mormon-owned" clothing companies sell suits that actually cover the least skin. And then there are suits that cover significantly more, the philosophy being that there shouldn't be a double standard for land and sea modesty. (Which I get.) These sites cater to Mormons, but more often to Jews, conservative Christians, and Muslims.
The Mormony/Christian/Jewish ones usually turn out looking like dresses:That's OK and stuff. I like the sportier ones from Ohana. They look more like something you'd see on the beach since they kinda look like wetsuits:Hydrochichas some sportier ones too, looser, and with sleeves.
Then there are the Muslim suits: And now I don't feel that I can even pretend to be modest wearing a standard one-piece. But, oh well; I don't like swimming with clothing swirling around me, and I can't really pull off the sporty look. I do like to feel the sun on my shoulders.
So here's my review of the not-really-modest "modest" swimsuits. I noticed most of the "modest" sites cater to women under 30, I think; more flirty than sophisticated. Any of these suits run about $80; a bit of a splurge, but I figure if I play my cards right it'll last another ten years!
I liked Hapari's tankinis best, if I didn't have kids (to stain a white-background suit) and wanted people to look at me (I don't--I just want people who happen to see me not to run away in terror. Like they do when I wear the black suit). Here was my favorite:
I also liked Layers's tankinis, again, if I were 10 years younger and/or looked like the models.
I liked these retro ones, but unfortunately I have hips.
Land's End's suits were nice if a little boring for my taste. They had a great function where you can try the suit on a virtual model of your size...wait, did I say that was a great function? Actually I did it, and realized I did not look good in that suit.
I am pleased with the suit I ultimately bought from Shade Clothing. It's not as flashy but I think it's a bit flattering, and it was cheaper too. (They're even on sale now, running about $50 for a whole suit). I actually sent the top back because some it the stitching was a bit bunchy, so I don't technically have it in hand (the picture below is the web site's not mine!)--but when it finally comes (again), it will be a satisfying end to a long search.
And a long post. Boy, I spent waaaaay too long doing this, but like I said: it was an obsession. And now to find the perfect cover-up...
PS, I forgot to put some of the sites that got the"gong:"
Modbe: Actually does have some cute tankinis, but rainbow-colored ruffles around my hips? Maybe if I were six. These too-wholesome little numbers. Their site says their suits are meant to draw attention to the face, not the body...but I'd be distracted by the fact that these poor women have to swim in something resembling a body bag.
Losing Dangerboy at the farmer's market today while I was paying for perfect apricots.
The kids not sleeping in the car as much as I'd hoped this afternoon.
Having too-optimistically agreed to babysit tonight (alone, post-bedtime), having to deal with an exhausted son and baby. The latter screamed intermittently for periods of time, and when she finally settled down, the boys all ran back by her bedroom and woke her up. (If you're reading this, parents, your kids were really fine--it was mine who gave me problems!)
After several time-outs through the course of the evening, hearing DB scream, "I don't love you anymore!!!" at me when I told him he couldn't have another graham cracker. Really wanting to spank him, or something. (Mom, you said this day would come).
Making my dear husband feel bad for having a decent day (he's in Davis at a dissertation workshop). It was after 10:00; I was tired; I was cleaning smeared graham crackers of the chairs and ground-up popcorn from the carpet. It was hard listen to him talk about his day, but I should have tried. I'm sorry honey.
Highs:
Playing with Cookie-Nut on my bed from 6:00-7:00 AM.
Finding perfect apricots at the farmer's market.
Finding a tearful DB at the farmer's market (after losing him, of course--a nice mommy was helping him look for me).
Watching Cookie-Nut walk and push her stroller all over the El Dorado Nature Center (which was fun, BTW, and cheap). She walked more than I've ever seen her. Just charmed everybody.
Reading Dangerboy this book at the Nature Center while Cookie-Nut walked around.
Praying for patience, knowing that DB was just exhausted tonight and didn't need me to punish him; he just needed me to understand. Snuggling up to him for a bedtime story just a few minutes after his little outburst; his kiss on my cheek goodnight.
So I realized I haven't posted on my sweet Cookie-Nut in a while. So here's a little update:
She's now 10 and 1/2 months old.
She's been able to walk since Easter, but is just starting to do it on her own without extra encouragement. Mostly she prefers to crawl or walk holding hands.
She loves to empty her brother's drawers.
She also loves books and the computer mouse.
She loves water is forever sneaking into the bathroom to play in the toilet (she's only made it once so far).
She's been sick about three times in the last month, and theethed once. (So it's been a hard month. PDaniel and I work in nursery, but we won't be taking her in there again for a while!!)
She has eight teeth.
She can say "uh-oh" when she drops something; for a few days "wow" meant "flower" but now it means anything interesting.
She can sign "bird" and does it whenever she hears or sees anything resembling one (including bees, which I think is adorable).
She "brushes" her teeth with me and spits in the sink (I didn't teach her to do this, but again, I just think it's so cute!).
She loves to eat berries of all kinds, and loves food in general.
She is STILL not sleeping through the night.
I caught her scavenging this quesadilla off her brothers plate and crawling around with it in her mouth.
It's spring. The flowers are growing in our backyard.
See? They are so beautiful!
There are no bees in this story.
The sign says you can pick the flowers.
(There are butterflies in this garden.)
And when you pick them, they don't die.
(These were the rules set out by Dangerboy as we were playing together in the hall. It's his fantasy garden--first of all, that it exists; it's pain- and fear-free; and it's immortal. Just like heaven...)
Dangerboy is four!!! Where has the time gone? We had a wild party (at our house--what, are we insane?) featuring DB's stomp rocket, giant beach balls, and parachute (not for jumping, just for playing). We try to add something new for outside fun each birthday--so far they've been a success! There should be four toys, but the last two bubble swords have been tricky to come by and break easily--but also very popular and fun! DB loved his party, every crazy minute--the outside stuff, the inside present/almost-hijacked-candle-blowing/Kung-Fu-Panda-viewing/cake-grinding into-carpet madness.
Oh, and before the party PDaniel took DB to Disneyland/California Adventure to take advantage of birthday discounts on year passes...I'll be getting my pass on my birthday in the fall, after summer blackout days. It was kinda crowded, so they only rode Midway Madness and Winnie the Pooh, two of DB's faves. (And on opposite sides of the parks....)
In celebration of Dangerboy, here are some things he's accomplished in the last year:
grown almost three inches and gained seven pounds
learned how to count objects well
mastered putting on shoes and socks, brushing teeth, and going potty without help
learned how to write his name, write and identify letters, and sound out some simple words
remembers his dreams
uses tape, staplers, stickers, beads, and paint without help
has held a baby
learned "arigatou" without anyone teaching him! :) ("Thank you" in Japanese)
can ride a scooter
draws people with faces, arms and legs, hands and feet
learned to be contemplative: "Mom, how we make water?" "How we break the law?" "How the world go round and round?"
We love our Dangerboy!
(PS--If you didn't hear about the party, don't worry--since we stayed home this year, we decided to keep it to families with kids DB plays with on a regular basis. It still added up to a lot of people...maybe next year we'll be back at the Commons!)
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